No Unicorns or Rainbows!

I follow a blog which I believe more people should read, especially parents with high functioning children on the autism spectrum.  The blog I am referring to is "Facing Autism in New Brunswick".  I have recommended this blog in the past and I continue to ask people to read it.  This man writes about his son and his experiences with autism.  They are much different than mine.  His recent posts about Jerry Seinfeld are a must read.  If you have the time, please go and have a look at this blog.

I should warn you, sometimes the comments about parents with high functioning children on the autism spectrum are a bit harsh.  I do not take it personally.  I write about my son's journey because it is what I know; what I experience.  I document it to show my son his achievements and challenges; his journey.  My son is on one end of the spectrum and this man's son, on the other.  The challenges he faces on a daily basis are beyond anything we could ever imagine.  I respect Mr. Doherty very much. He fights so hard for his son!  He does not mince words and he is very honest about how he feels regarding the severity of his son's autism.  Do not look for unicorns or rainbows, only the truth!  He says what he thinks and good for him!  I wish him and his family all the best!

*HUGS* All the best!

Santa is REAL!

Austin, who is 9, and in Grade 4, still believes in Santa.  My husband and I discussed it, and as much as we did not want to demolish the magic of Santa, we were concerned that Austin would get bullied if he started talking about Santa with his classmates.  We contacted Austin's Psychologist and she thought it would be best to tell him ourselves than his peers and have a really terrible experience.  It is disheartening enough, who needs teasing and laughing added to the mix.  I also approached some other parents that have children on the spectrum and got some advice about how they told their children.  It was very helpful and very close to what Austin's therapist suggested.

We told Austin we needed to speak to him about something (Kaleigh was asleep at the time), we asked him about Santa and what he thought and if the other kids in his class talked about Santa at all. He replied that they did not.  I went on and explained about St. Nicholas and tried that route.  Telling Austin that we all carry on his spirit of giving at Christmas and that Santa is well, you know, not real. We explained that he was now part of a secret club and must not say anything to Kaleigh or any other children since they are too young to be part of the secret club of St. Nick yet.  I told Austin he could even help me on Christmas Eve, like an elf!  He seemed to be very excited about all of this, but I was not sure why he was taking this news so well.  After talking to him, I asked if he was upset or disappointed and he said he was a bit upset, I apologized and he said he was fine.  I asked him at the end of the conversation, "So what do you know about Santa?"  He replied "That the REAL one lives in the North Pole!"  Oh my!  After all that explaining, he would have none of it.  He still believes in Santa.  I decided not to take it any further.  Let him sit with the information and see what he figures out or starts to question.

This was not an easy decision to make, I did not want to have to tell Austin about Santa but I figured by this time, he would already know since most children his age do.  I am not about to push the subject and he said he would not discuss Santa at school with his classmates or other children.  I feel, I tried my best and right now, it is better not to push the issue.

All the best! *HUGS*

The Bread Bag

Austin was recently re-assessed by his Psychologist, Speech Pathologist and Occupational Therapist.  I have met with all of them.  They discussed Austin's progress and his challenges.  I will continue to document them here so we can keep tract of both.

The other day I met with Austin's OT, she explained that he still struggles with his fine motor skills.  She suggested that I encourage him to do more things for himself.  (Alright so he is still my baby and yes, I say all the time that I am too protective and cater a lot to my children.  I was reminded of how that can be counterproductive for Austin, thank you, I got it!)  Butter his own toast, fold his own laundry, learn to tie his shoes (I have tried numerous times, he just starts to cry; we use a special snap instead, but I really want him to learn to do it), on and on I could go, the list is long.

Yesterday, Austin wanted raisin toast.  I told him he could make it himself and I would watch or help.  He did pretty well overall but it took me 15 minutes to show him how to open the bread bag instead of ripping it apart.  He does not look either, he looks away as he pulls until the little tag breaks or rips the bag.  He still struggles to open the bag and to close it (that took another 5 minutes), I gave up because he was just too frustrated.  It is difficult to see him struggle with something you or I would take for granted.  It is something that when dealing with autism seems very small in the overall spectrum, but in Austin's world, it is a very big thing.

One of the challenging things is Kaleigh can get up, make herself a PB & J sandwich, put everything away and you would never know she was in the kitchen.  Austin sees this and questions why she can do it and he can't?  He could do it if he wanted, but he just gets discouraged at this point and calls for help.  I explained to him, that we will help him get there and he will, it just takes a little time and patience. We are working hard to make sure that he will be able to do all the things he wants for himself.

All the best! *HUGS*

Stranger Danger!

I have told Austin and Kaleigh over and over, "Never open the door to a stranger!"  A couple of weeks ago, we were expecting the repair man for the washer, his second visit ... don't get me started.  I was in my bedroom when I heard the door open and my children call out "The repair man is here!"  I come bolting out of my bedroom to see a man, I have never seen before, standing in my kitchen, a half hour before he was supposed to arrive, which I pointed out to him very quickly.  His partner (who has been here before) was just entering the house when he heard me say to Austin and Kaleigh, "How many times have I told you not to open the door to a stranger?"  I was pointing my finger at Kaleigh figuring it was her that had let the man in the door, wrong ... it was Austin!  He even admitted it!  Shocked because he is such a stickler for rules, I was so surprised he would do this, I swear, he can be so predictable about certain things and when you think he wouldn't do something, he does it!

Austin told me that he unlocked the door because it was the repairman and we knew he was coming. I told him, never, ever, ever open or unlock the door again without me.  I explained to him that strangers can dress up like repairmen to gain access to the house and they can be dangerous people!  Austin understood why I was upset and so did the repairmen.

All the times I have explained about stranger danger to my children and the one who I still have to worry about is Austin.  I pray that this experience and my reaction (his Wii was taken from him for a few days as a consequence, which is a huge deal to Austin, not to mention the lengthy lecture from me!) will keep him from ever opening the door to a strange person ever again!

All the best!  *HUGS*

Simba

This post is for Austin and Kaleigh.  I am so sorry that we lost Simba, on Monday, July 21, 2014.  We took in this stray cat 11 years ago and he was the family cat who went back and forth between our house and Grandma and Grandpa's.  Everyone is very sad over this loss.  This picture was taken in August 2011.  I am posting it here so you will always have a picture of Simba and know that he will be missed and we all loved him.  Mommie and Daddy are so sorry that you lost your pet and our hearts are breaking for you!  We LOVE you very much!  Lots of HUGS and KISSES!

Precious Pet

The other day our family cat seemed a bit off, he was scheduled to have his teeth cleaned by the veterinarian Wednesday morning.  He had been at an appointment on the Monday with some concerns that maybe his mouth had been bothering him,  so we booked him in to have his teeth done.  This is something that was discussed previously with the veterinarian.  Wednesday, turned out to be a most shocking and devastating day.

I brought the cat up with Austin to drop him off at the veterinarian early in the morning.  I told the technician to have him examined before the surgery because I felt he was not well.  I was not home 45 minutes and the phone rang, my sweet cat, I have had him for 13 years, was suffering from kidney failure!  I was so upset!  I could not believe it!  I knew something wasn't right but I had no idea the cat was in that much jeopardy.  We decided to have him treated with IV fluids for 3 days and pray (a lot) that he would be okay.

On Thursday morning, the veterinary clinic called and said the cat was stable.  I discussed it with my husband and we decided that I should take the kids up to see the cat, since he was stable.  I warned the ladies not to say anything premature in front of the kids as not to upset them.  I switched back and forth from English to French while talking to the veterinarian (the kids are not as fluent in French) and then we stepped outside so I could see the numbers from the blood work that was taken.  I saw the numbers and my heart sank!  I knew what those numbers meant, not a good scenario!  I was heartbroken and what was I going to tell children?  How would they react?  All they cared about was when the cat was coming home.  I kept telling them, we had to wait for the tests and did not go into it any further.

Austin and Kaleigh came over to see the cat.  He jumped up and meowed over and over when he saw Kaleigh, they are very close buddies.  We visited a while then we headed home.  I expected Kaleigh to be very upset about the cat, that, was not the case.

We arrived home and I had to go back out to do some errands.  Austin came to me and said that he felt like crying when he saw the cat.  I asked him why?  Was he scared, sad, upset, worried ... what was the reasoning behind it?  Austin could not tell me why, it is just what he felt.  He burst into tears and I quickly went over and cuddled him.  I told him it was okay and I understood how hard it was for him to see the cat that way.  It took me a while to calm him.  I never expected that from Austin, NEVER!  I was shocked that he had that reaction.  He is usually very passive about things, especially animals.  He does not usually get upset when he finds out a close family member lost a pet, a pet that he knows.  Kaleigh cried for days when she found out that my parents lost their little dog just a little while ago.  So sorry for my parents. :(

I am very blessed and happy to say, our cat returned home on Friday afternoon.  He is eating and drinking and doing well.  We wait and take everything one day at a time.  Austin has been great watching him and making sure he is doing well.

I am always learning things about Austin.  Another door or window has opened to help me learn more about him.  To him, our cat is precious!

All the best! *HUGS*

Alternate Alarm

Austin woke up early yesterday morning, around 5:30 a.m. (he is usually up by about six, an early riser).  I was already up and watching television.  He came and sat next to me and said he woke up by the first chirp of a bird.  He said it was like having an alarm clock only better because listening to the sounds of the chirping birds away was a much better way to be woken up! :)

All the best! *HUGS*