There are two words Austin said to me yesterday that took me by surprise, "I'm shy." What? Not Austin, the child with no fear, and not to mention, no filter! Wow!
I am seeing changes in Austin's social behaviour. He has never been a shy kid, passive and intimidated by other kids, but shy, no. We were discussing the name calling that has been going on at school and was trying to come up with a way for him to tell someone right away so we can deal with it when it happens. I know he is afraid of being labelled a tattle tale, we established that but when I said he could talk to his teacher one on one (even in the hallway away from the other children) he said he can't. I asked why not? He replied "I'm shy". Okay. So, a new dynamic to Austin's personality, he is shy.
I found a resolution that I hope will work, if he is too shy to talk to someone about this teasing and name calling verbally, I told him to document it in his daily school agenda. I am hopeful if he can address what is happening this way, we can pinpoint who it is and what is being said to him. This poor kid has had such a rough year, rougher than previous years and he has always been the target of some bully. I just want him to have some peace and be happy to be at school. This is a boy who loves school and thrives in that setting. After I dropped him off this morning, I felt sick, nervous, upset, scared ... I pray he has a good day and he has fun with the children that do care for him, even if they are few, they are precious.
All the best!
*HUGS*
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
"Everyone Hates Me!"
I picked Austin up from school yesterday and just like everyday, I ask him how his day went. He said "okay" but I saw the look on his face, trouble! He complained he hurt his foot and could not return to school the next day, red flag! We got in the car and I asked him, "Okay, what happened today? I know something is wrong." Out of his mouth came "Everyone hates me!!!" Oh no! What happened now?
I proceeded to calm Austin and ask him what had happened to make him so upset. He explained that he was being teased for a certain behaviour (I will not state exactly what since I do not want to embarrass him) which stopped a long time ago but he is still being teased about it by everyone in his class. I asked him when it was occurring and did he tell the teacher. No, he did not tell. I continue to explain to Austin that he is to tell someone. He did settle down after a while, thank goodness!
This morning, Austin woke up and told me he could not go to school because of his hurt foot. Both my husband and I checked his foot, it is fine. He was using the excuse of a sore stomach to get out of school when "the boy" was bullying him, so my husband I and knew he was very upset if he was trying to get out of going. I spoke to Austin and he proceeded to tell me that the kids are teasing him all the time about the fact that I will not allow him to have a Facebook account or a Twitter account. Really? They are not allowed to have these accounts! Minimum age for Facebook is 13 and my son is 9! Even at 13, I think Facebook and Twitter open a door I would like to keep closed, cyberbullying! Not to mention other dangers for children!
Austin sat on the couch crying and telling me that he is teased and called names everyday by his classmates with the exception of 1 or 2. He does not want to return to school, period! This is too much! I had already emailed his teacher the previous day and now I decided, I am going in to see the Principal. I called and emailed him. He did reply to my email very quickly since he was out at meetings for the day but assured me he would address the situation as soon as possible as did his teacher. I have to say, they do take it seriously and do respond quickly. They did resolve the situation with "the boy" and I do believe they are genuinely concerned for the student body.
When I questioned Austin to why he will not tell someone these things are happening, he is afraid he will be further teased as a tattle tale. Really? I feel like he is trapped. He feels he cannot not zig or zag. What I am to do? This is crazy! I am frustrated, upset and actually disappointed in how these other children behave towards my son who is sensitive, sweet and very easy going. What is wrong? How do I fix this? Do I change schools and try a fresh start? Will the same thing occur? I am praying I will find some answers.
All the best!
*HUGS*
I proceeded to calm Austin and ask him what had happened to make him so upset. He explained that he was being teased for a certain behaviour (I will not state exactly what since I do not want to embarrass him) which stopped a long time ago but he is still being teased about it by everyone in his class. I asked him when it was occurring and did he tell the teacher. No, he did not tell. I continue to explain to Austin that he is to tell someone. He did settle down after a while, thank goodness!
This morning, Austin woke up and told me he could not go to school because of his hurt foot. Both my husband and I checked his foot, it is fine. He was using the excuse of a sore stomach to get out of school when "the boy" was bullying him, so my husband I and knew he was very upset if he was trying to get out of going. I spoke to Austin and he proceeded to tell me that the kids are teasing him all the time about the fact that I will not allow him to have a Facebook account or a Twitter account. Really? They are not allowed to have these accounts! Minimum age for Facebook is 13 and my son is 9! Even at 13, I think Facebook and Twitter open a door I would like to keep closed, cyberbullying! Not to mention other dangers for children!
Austin sat on the couch crying and telling me that he is teased and called names everyday by his classmates with the exception of 1 or 2. He does not want to return to school, period! This is too much! I had already emailed his teacher the previous day and now I decided, I am going in to see the Principal. I called and emailed him. He did reply to my email very quickly since he was out at meetings for the day but assured me he would address the situation as soon as possible as did his teacher. I have to say, they do take it seriously and do respond quickly. They did resolve the situation with "the boy" and I do believe they are genuinely concerned for the student body.
When I questioned Austin to why he will not tell someone these things are happening, he is afraid he will be further teased as a tattle tale. Really? I feel like he is trapped. He feels he cannot not zig or zag. What I am to do? This is crazy! I am frustrated, upset and actually disappointed in how these other children behave towards my son who is sensitive, sweet and very easy going. What is wrong? How do I fix this? Do I change schools and try a fresh start? Will the same thing occur? I am praying I will find some answers.
All the best!
*HUGS*
Friday, March 13, 2015
"D's House"
I am so touched by this story! Bravo to these children! They are wonderful people and their families and friends should be so proud!
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2394318-middle-schoolers-walk-off-court-to-stop-bullying-of-girl-with-special-needs?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=cnn-sports-bin
All the best!
*HUGS*
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2394318-middle-schoolers-walk-off-court-to-stop-bullying-of-girl-with-special-needs?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=cnn-sports-bin
All the best!
*HUGS*
Friday, February 27, 2015
Only to be brought to tears again ....
The day of my last post, I picked Austin up from school. He was not even out of the front lobby when he broke down and told me he saw "the boy" at school that very morning, in the office! I could not believe my ears! After the school had assured me this child was no longer a threat to my son and would be attending another program at another school, there he was! What was happening?
I questioned Austin about what he knew or had heard at school. (This was after almost an hour of crying by Austin. It broke my heart!) Austin told me he heard "the boy" would be attending daycare at the school. WHAT?! Why? Okay, so off I go to figure out what was happening. I placed a call to the school Principal in hopes that I could get a confirmation if this child was in the school or not. To be told one thing and then another to happen, well that was unsettling to say the least. Poor Austin was beside himself with anxiety.
I received a call from the school and it was confirmed that the child would be attending daycare at the school and to be transported to another school for his program. I was assured that he would not have contact with Austin. Well, the two of them in the office at the same time, I consider contact. So, I told Austin what the situation was and that he should not bring down attendance in the morning as to avoid "the boy". Also, Austin does go to the PD daycare days occasionally when there is an outing or a "mad science" themed day. I told him that he will not be attending anymore days since "the boy" would be at the daycare. Now, I do have sporadic daycare for Austin in case I have to work an afternoon, I guess those days will have to have the child isolated from Austin or I will have to get my in-laws to help take care of him. I will not subject my son to this child as I know he will only go after Austin again. That, is not acceptable.
All the best! *HUGS*
I questioned Austin about what he knew or had heard at school. (This was after almost an hour of crying by Austin. It broke my heart!) Austin told me he heard "the boy" would be attending daycare at the school. WHAT?! Why? Okay, so off I go to figure out what was happening. I placed a call to the school Principal in hopes that I could get a confirmation if this child was in the school or not. To be told one thing and then another to happen, well that was unsettling to say the least. Poor Austin was beside himself with anxiety.
I received a call from the school and it was confirmed that the child would be attending daycare at the school and to be transported to another school for his program. I was assured that he would not have contact with Austin. Well, the two of them in the office at the same time, I consider contact. So, I told Austin what the situation was and that he should not bring down attendance in the morning as to avoid "the boy". Also, Austin does go to the PD daycare days occasionally when there is an outing or a "mad science" themed day. I told him that he will not be attending anymore days since "the boy" would be at the daycare. Now, I do have sporadic daycare for Austin in case I have to work an afternoon, I guess those days will have to have the child isolated from Austin or I will have to get my in-laws to help take care of him. I will not subject my son to this child as I know he will only go after Austin again. That, is not acceptable.
All the best! *HUGS*
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Directing the Delighted
There is a reason I have not been blogging for the last few months, we have been dealing with a very trying situation at school with Austin. He has been bullied by another boy for months! It was so tough to find out that once again, Austin was the target of bullying. This child kicked Austin, more than once in the private area, so hard that he had pain and could not urinate without discomfort. We treated his symptoms and he was fine but the thought of it happening was a nightmare! This is how we found out he was a target of bullying ... again! What does being "delighted" have to do with this post? Continue to read on and you will see!
After Austin had been injured, I was upset, as was his Father, that he was being targetted pretty much everyday for months. A push here, a punch there, a kick, a shove, name calling and knocking to the ground. My mind raced for nights on end! I could not sleep! I was so concerned that Austin was being hurt and did not tell us what was going on; we found out why he did not tell us. When I questioned him, and it took a lot of questioning before he told me why he did not confide in us, he just looked at me and said, "No witnesses, no proof." Just like that. I am not kidding when I say, my head almost blew off! Where on earth would he hear something like that? Then, in an instant, I knew.
This boy went after Austin so much that he was finally suspended for a few days. Austin and all of us felt a sigh of relief that he could go to school and be happy for a while. The day the boy returned, he got up in the middle of the class and went to the board and punched Austin as he did his work. Again, the child was suspended, this time for a week. When was this going to end?
Yesterday, I picked Austin up from school, he told me that he heard the boy had been "expelled". Austin was content that the boy was no longer going to school and quiet frankly, I was very relieved that I did not have to worry about Austin being hit anymore. He did not seem outlandishly happy but seemed pleased.
If the child was indeed expelled, I needed to confirm this with the school. (They have been very supportive of Austin during this situation and I am very grateful to them.) I contacted them and found out that the child was not formally expelled but has moved to another program at another school. I was also informed that Austin was very happy about this and had no bones about expressing this to the other children in his class. This did not go over well and Austin was spoken to about it. He did apologize and I did speak to him about it. I told him that is not the way to react and it is not a dignified way to behave. Austin struggles a lot with social issues and all he could think about was how delighted he was not to have to endure being the target of this child. I can totally relate to how he feels but he has to learn that expressing certain things that way can hurt someone's feelings. He knows that there is a certain expectation of being understanding, since we do not know the status of this other boy. I am sure he has his own challenges he is trying to deal with and I know it will not be easy for him or his family. I do feel for them since we have our own challenges to deal with everyday. They may not be the same, but they are still challenges.
I am hopeful that the rest of the school year will be easier for Austin now that he does not have to be afraid to go to school everyday. Honestly, it broke my heart to have my son so fearful, he did not want to go to school. He LOVES school! Today, I sit optimistic that the past few months will fade and his excitement to go to school will return!
All the best! *HUGS*
After Austin had been injured, I was upset, as was his Father, that he was being targetted pretty much everyday for months. A push here, a punch there, a kick, a shove, name calling and knocking to the ground. My mind raced for nights on end! I could not sleep! I was so concerned that Austin was being hurt and did not tell us what was going on; we found out why he did not tell us. When I questioned him, and it took a lot of questioning before he told me why he did not confide in us, he just looked at me and said, "No witnesses, no proof." Just like that. I am not kidding when I say, my head almost blew off! Where on earth would he hear something like that? Then, in an instant, I knew.
This boy went after Austin so much that he was finally suspended for a few days. Austin and all of us felt a sigh of relief that he could go to school and be happy for a while. The day the boy returned, he got up in the middle of the class and went to the board and punched Austin as he did his work. Again, the child was suspended, this time for a week. When was this going to end?
Yesterday, I picked Austin up from school, he told me that he heard the boy had been "expelled". Austin was content that the boy was no longer going to school and quiet frankly, I was very relieved that I did not have to worry about Austin being hit anymore. He did not seem outlandishly happy but seemed pleased.
If the child was indeed expelled, I needed to confirm this with the school. (They have been very supportive of Austin during this situation and I am very grateful to them.) I contacted them and found out that the child was not formally expelled but has moved to another program at another school. I was also informed that Austin was very happy about this and had no bones about expressing this to the other children in his class. This did not go over well and Austin was spoken to about it. He did apologize and I did speak to him about it. I told him that is not the way to react and it is not a dignified way to behave. Austin struggles a lot with social issues and all he could think about was how delighted he was not to have to endure being the target of this child. I can totally relate to how he feels but he has to learn that expressing certain things that way can hurt someone's feelings. He knows that there is a certain expectation of being understanding, since we do not know the status of this other boy. I am sure he has his own challenges he is trying to deal with and I know it will not be easy for him or his family. I do feel for them since we have our own challenges to deal with everyday. They may not be the same, but they are still challenges.
I am hopeful that the rest of the school year will be easier for Austin now that he does not have to be afraid to go to school everyday. Honestly, it broke my heart to have my son so fearful, he did not want to go to school. He LOVES school! Today, I sit optimistic that the past few months will fade and his excitement to go to school will return!
All the best! *HUGS*
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Vaccine Debate
I do not usually post about things like this, but lately, I just cannot take it! I can barely go on Facebook with all these people posting about how vaccinations do not cause autism so everyone should vaccinate their children; "Vaccines do not cause autism!" they say. I do not care to debate this myself but I am so tired of people who do not have a child with autism posting about vaccines and autism, not once but a dozen times! Really? I do not think anyone should tell anyone else what they should or should not do with their child. If someone does not want a child who is not vaccinated around their children, take it up with the parents but do not push your beliefs on someone else.
A short rant but, whew, I feel a bit better!
All the best! *HUGS*
A short rant but, whew, I feel a bit better!
All the best! *HUGS*
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Slumber Surveillance
Have you ever woken up with a shadow in your dark doorway? Have you ever woken up with a person standing above you, watching and waiting? Well, I have, numerous times! Scary? No kidding!
Austin, has, in the past, stood in my doorway in the middle of the night until I stirred and woke up to see him standing there. I have woken up with him standing above me, watching me sleep! It is so frightening! I have asked him why does he do it? He said, he needs something and does not want to disturb my sleep. He thinks I may be upset for him waking me in the middle of the night. I have told him over and over, if he needs something to just wake me up, do not stand over me and watch me sleep, it freaks me out! He does not see it the same way, he thinks he is being patient and that is a good thing, not in this case.
There is good news, or an improvement, I finally got Austin to stop doing this in the last few months. Now, he pokes at me until I wake. The other day, I feel asleep on the couch watching a show, in the middle of the night, I felt myself being pushed, I was dreaming, I thought it was just the dream. Nope, a few minutes later I was jolted awake. I saw Austin standing before me, "Mom, are you awake?" "I am now." I asked if he had been poking or pushing me, he responded, "Yes, at least five times!!!" Right, well, I did tell him to wake me up instead of scaring me, so I should be grateful for that!
Why does he wake me up? It could be anything; a cold, he is thirsty, can't sleep and he is a very early riser! Whatever the case may be, I am thanking you in this post, Austin, for waking me up, no matter what time and why. I prefer to be woken than be watched as I sleep. I have Edgar Allan Poe to thank for that!
*HUGS* All the best!
Austin, has, in the past, stood in my doorway in the middle of the night until I stirred and woke up to see him standing there. I have woken up with him standing above me, watching me sleep! It is so frightening! I have asked him why does he do it? He said, he needs something and does not want to disturb my sleep. He thinks I may be upset for him waking me in the middle of the night. I have told him over and over, if he needs something to just wake me up, do not stand over me and watch me sleep, it freaks me out! He does not see it the same way, he thinks he is being patient and that is a good thing, not in this case.
There is good news, or an improvement, I finally got Austin to stop doing this in the last few months. Now, he pokes at me until I wake. The other day, I feel asleep on the couch watching a show, in the middle of the night, I felt myself being pushed, I was dreaming, I thought it was just the dream. Nope, a few minutes later I was jolted awake. I saw Austin standing before me, "Mom, are you awake?" "I am now." I asked if he had been poking or pushing me, he responded, "Yes, at least five times!!!" Right, well, I did tell him to wake me up instead of scaring me, so I should be grateful for that!
Why does he wake me up? It could be anything; a cold, he is thirsty, can't sleep and he is a very early riser! Whatever the case may be, I am thanking you in this post, Austin, for waking me up, no matter what time and why. I prefer to be woken than be watched as I sleep. I have Edgar Allan Poe to thank for that!
*HUGS* All the best!
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