The other day we went to the splash pad, usually there are mostly little ones, that day it was just four boys. They were older than Austin, not by much, a year or so. He was taller than them and he is mistaken for an older boy a lot since he is quite tall for just turning 10, over 5 feet!
While we were there, I watched as Austin ran around these boys and tried to keep him in my sights. Trust is not big with me, I have seen the teasing and tormenting that Austin has endured in the past on a playground. I watched as the leader of the boys (there is always one, right?) walked over to Austin and looked him up and down and all around. Like Austin was on display or something. I felt like telling the boy, "My son is not a museum piece!" but as long as he did not linger or make a comment to Austin, I decided I would wait and see. Austin did not notice the boy looking at him, trying to figure out why Austin was reacting the way he was, so excited and oblivious to his presence. The boy had a look and off he went back to his gang of buddies. Austin went on to play, for a while anyway.
Austin, playing by himself, and with Kaleigh periodically, became very interested in what the group of boys were doing. He stood on the side of the park staring at them and smiling. You could tell he would like nothing more than to join in and play but shyness gets the best of him and he will not approach them. They did not even take notice of him standing there watching them. Austin bored quickly and took off playing again, the boys never approached him to play.
I watched the boys as they ran past, up and down the splash pad and they were pretty good actually. They never said anything to Austin and weren't confrontational. I was a little nervous when it came to the leader though, but he kept his distance. You could see in his face when he looked at Austin initially, he knew something wasn't quite typical about him and headed off back to his friends. I watch other kids like a hawk! I don't trust Austin's peers at all! Paranoid? Probably, but I have good reason to be! Poor Austin, he has been bullied so much and now he is bigger, it is even scarier! Austin is starting Grade 5 and I feel it is time he took some kind of defensive training. My husband and I have decided to put him in Judo. I pray that it will give him more confidence and training for self protection.
It is so hard to for me to trust others when I have seen what has happened in the past. Looking suspiciously at anyone who comes to have a closer look at Austin is like a defence mechanism. I am cautious and careful when it involves Austin, that has not changed. It breaks my heart to know that he endures such bullying and comments. I have been known to give a few looks here and there when I hear anyone say something nasty about or to him! One day, my friend reacted before I even knew what was happening. Oh my! She put the bullies in their place, immediately! The hurt and upset stays with you and when I was watching "I am Jazz" the other night, I felt the same feeling come over me. Jazz was sitting with her Mom outside at a cafe and some boys walked past and called her a name! Her Mom asked Jazz what was said and Jazz confirmed the comment. She told her Mom it was okay and not to worry but you could see the hurt and anguish in her face. My heart broke for both of them! I think this girl and her family are all very strong and exceptional people! Good for her Mom for staying seated, I would have probably run after the guy and had a few choice words for him myself!
Wishing you all the best! *HUGS*
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Friday, July 17, 2015
What Lurks in the Shadows
I watch Austin as he tries to be brave enough to walk down the dark hall way to his room, the fear that overtakes this boy is like watching something out of a horror film. He is terrified! I tell him not to be frightened and run ahead to turn on the lights so he can go ahead without being scared. He is still hesitant. I go with him to his room and tuck him in bed, trying to calm him. I put on his desk light, I try to sooth him by speaking softly and distracting him by talking about his video games. He eventually calms but explains he is still very afraid of the dark. We have discussed this subject many times and it seems that at 10, it is worse now than ever.
I explained to Austin that I used to be afraid of the dark but (my parents were not so understanding) I got used to sleeping in the dark. There were no lights or night lights in my room when I was little. A terrible way to deal with a fear so intense, I could not move. I would watch the walls in my room and pray nothing would move outside to cast a shadow. I was genuinely terrified! I completely understand where Austin is coming from and I am doing my best to help him. Sometimes I bring him out to the couch to watch a bit of TV and he falls asleep quickly so I get him up and walk him to his room, he goes right back to sleep with no problem at all.
It is not easy to see Austin running from a dark room or terrified to walk towards one. He is afraid of what "lives" in the shadows, what might be lurking there. His imagination can be vivid and he can come out with some pretty frightening tales but to him, the fear is very real. I pray that eventually this will pass and he will outgrow this fear. Watching Austin as frightened as I was once, I am compelled to calm him, so I walk these steps with him. He is comforted that I am walking beside him, holding him, step by step, together.
All the best! *HUGS*
I explained to Austin that I used to be afraid of the dark but (my parents were not so understanding) I got used to sleeping in the dark. There were no lights or night lights in my room when I was little. A terrible way to deal with a fear so intense, I could not move. I would watch the walls in my room and pray nothing would move outside to cast a shadow. I was genuinely terrified! I completely understand where Austin is coming from and I am doing my best to help him. Sometimes I bring him out to the couch to watch a bit of TV and he falls asleep quickly so I get him up and walk him to his room, he goes right back to sleep with no problem at all.
It is not easy to see Austin running from a dark room or terrified to walk towards one. He is afraid of what "lives" in the shadows, what might be lurking there. His imagination can be vivid and he can come out with some pretty frightening tales but to him, the fear is very real. I pray that eventually this will pass and he will outgrow this fear. Watching Austin as frightened as I was once, I am compelled to calm him, so I walk these steps with him. He is comforted that I am walking beside him, holding him, step by step, together.
All the best! *HUGS*
Monday, July 13, 2015
Standing Out
Austin turned 10 last week. There have been so many changes in his behaviour since he was a toddler and some that stay with him despite his age or how much he has developed in other ways.
Yesterday, we went to the splash pad/park. Austin and Kaleigh went off to play and there were other children who came over from the baseball game to play. It was quite hot here yesterday, so who wouldn't want to run through some refreshing cool water? There were a couple of girls, around 7 and 8 who came to play. One came right up to Austin and starting talking to him, she wanted to play. At times, Austin was not paying attention to her as she spoke and did not answer her. I had to call him over and tell him, the girl is speaking and you are not listening or responding, I told him he needed to pay closer attention. I want to help Austin as much as I can with his social skills, it is not easy.
I watched as they all played together, about 5 of them, Austin started directing and telling the others how to build the castle and who's job was what and when to do it. I do not let this go on as I know this is a huge challenge for Austin, I called him over once again and told him not to direct the others, they know what to do and to relax and have fun. Oh my! This is no easy task for Austin. He just gets so excited! It is almost like watching him at 2 and not 10! All the other kids are playing and walking and talking quietly and Austin is up on his toes running around and arms are flying everywhere. He is so excited he can't contain it. I can see him trying to keep on flat feet and bring his arms down. I think he is more aware of it than the others are, they do not seem to really react to his behaviours. Interesting to me. Do they just think he is hyperactive? Do they think anything at all?
I sat and looked around at the park as all the children played. Needless to say, I did not get much of my Nicholas Sparks book read as I want to watch Austin when other children are around him. Sometimes he can lack focus and I did not want him to knock over one of the little ones, not that it happens much but the potential is there when he is excited. As I watched all the children building the sand castle, the only one that stood out was Austin. He still does not play or engage like typical children. He is much calmer than he used to be but still, the excitement and sensory stimulation is overwhelming. He is playing happily, and I am happy to see him having so much fun but I can't help to think that there is a lot more of that 2 year old boy just trying to get out! Is Austin trying hard to suppress the excitement he feels? At 10, he has much more control than he did at 2 but sitting and watching yesterday, he stills stands out amongst the typical children. Will this always be such a challenge for him? Will he calm down as he gets older? Will he be able to control his excitement so he is not running and jumping all around? He is so calm and laid back most of the time, add any social excitement and he is almost a completely different person, still a very adorable and sweet person mind you.
I am trying my best to help Austin every step of the way and I know the social game is only going to become more and more important. Austin is going into Grade 5, I can't believe it! I know the social dynamic is only going to get more complex. Scary to me! All these changes for Austin, my baby! He is almost as tall as me and talks about gaming and girls! Oh my! How quickly they change and grow but your baby, they will always be, not matter how big, or how old.
All the best! *HUGS*
Yesterday, we went to the splash pad/park. Austin and Kaleigh went off to play and there were other children who came over from the baseball game to play. It was quite hot here yesterday, so who wouldn't want to run through some refreshing cool water? There were a couple of girls, around 7 and 8 who came to play. One came right up to Austin and starting talking to him, she wanted to play. At times, Austin was not paying attention to her as she spoke and did not answer her. I had to call him over and tell him, the girl is speaking and you are not listening or responding, I told him he needed to pay closer attention. I want to help Austin as much as I can with his social skills, it is not easy.
I watched as they all played together, about 5 of them, Austin started directing and telling the others how to build the castle and who's job was what and when to do it. I do not let this go on as I know this is a huge challenge for Austin, I called him over once again and told him not to direct the others, they know what to do and to relax and have fun. Oh my! This is no easy task for Austin. He just gets so excited! It is almost like watching him at 2 and not 10! All the other kids are playing and walking and talking quietly and Austin is up on his toes running around and arms are flying everywhere. He is so excited he can't contain it. I can see him trying to keep on flat feet and bring his arms down. I think he is more aware of it than the others are, they do not seem to really react to his behaviours. Interesting to me. Do they just think he is hyperactive? Do they think anything at all?
I sat and looked around at the park as all the children played. Needless to say, I did not get much of my Nicholas Sparks book read as I want to watch Austin when other children are around him. Sometimes he can lack focus and I did not want him to knock over one of the little ones, not that it happens much but the potential is there when he is excited. As I watched all the children building the sand castle, the only one that stood out was Austin. He still does not play or engage like typical children. He is much calmer than he used to be but still, the excitement and sensory stimulation is overwhelming. He is playing happily, and I am happy to see him having so much fun but I can't help to think that there is a lot more of that 2 year old boy just trying to get out! Is Austin trying hard to suppress the excitement he feels? At 10, he has much more control than he did at 2 but sitting and watching yesterday, he stills stands out amongst the typical children. Will this always be such a challenge for him? Will he calm down as he gets older? Will he be able to control his excitement so he is not running and jumping all around? He is so calm and laid back most of the time, add any social excitement and he is almost a completely different person, still a very adorable and sweet person mind you.
I am trying my best to help Austin every step of the way and I know the social game is only going to become more and more important. Austin is going into Grade 5, I can't believe it! I know the social dynamic is only going to get more complex. Scary to me! All these changes for Austin, my baby! He is almost as tall as me and talks about gaming and girls! Oh my! How quickly they change and grow but your baby, they will always be, not matter how big, or how old.
All the best! *HUGS*
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Bullying Break
School has been out for just over a week, Austin is having a great time on summer vacation so far. He gets to play video games, go to the park and splash pad, read, play outside, go for bike rides and bounce on the trampoline ... a lot! The best part about being out of school is no bullies! Summer is stress free in that department, of course if Austin goes to a party or something like that, I get a little worried but it is usually incident free.
After "the boy" (that I blogged about previously) left the school Austin attends, we only had a few minor incidents of bullying, nothing as major as what "the boy" had put Austin though. I was so grateful for all the help the school gave us to ensure Austin remained safe, I am very pleased with all their support. It was fantastic to pick Austin up at school everyday and he was smiling again. He was anxious to go to school, he was excited again, just like he was prior to "the boy" targetting and harming him. I am so grateful that peace has returned for Austin. He is a great boy and deserves to be able to go to school and not be hit, punched, kicked, thrown to the ground, called names ... you get the picture.
I can't express how great it is to see Austin smiling and laughing all the time and now for the next few weeks, we do not have to think about what he endured in school and he is in a bully-free zone for the next couple of months. We can only pray that Grade 5 will be easier than Grade 4 was for him. He did so well in his studies and we are so PROUD of him! How many children could achieve such high academic scores with someone haunting them everyday? I pray I will not ask the same question next session.
Wishing you all the best! *HUGS*
After "the boy" (that I blogged about previously) left the school Austin attends, we only had a few minor incidents of bullying, nothing as major as what "the boy" had put Austin though. I was so grateful for all the help the school gave us to ensure Austin remained safe, I am very pleased with all their support. It was fantastic to pick Austin up at school everyday and he was smiling again. He was anxious to go to school, he was excited again, just like he was prior to "the boy" targetting and harming him. I am so grateful that peace has returned for Austin. He is a great boy and deserves to be able to go to school and not be hit, punched, kicked, thrown to the ground, called names ... you get the picture.
I can't express how great it is to see Austin smiling and laughing all the time and now for the next few weeks, we do not have to think about what he endured in school and he is in a bully-free zone for the next couple of months. We can only pray that Grade 5 will be easier than Grade 4 was for him. He did so well in his studies and we are so PROUD of him! How many children could achieve such high academic scores with someone haunting them everyday? I pray I will not ask the same question next session.
Wishing you all the best! *HUGS*
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Father's Day
Austin's Granddad and Nana came over for a spontaneous visit this morning. I had called my Dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day and figured he would be golfing (he usually tries to on Father's Day), which he was just finishing when I called. I spoke to him on the phone and he and my Mum came over. I was very happy to see them both as I do not get to see them enough.
On this Father's Day, I got a special treat, to see my Dad, who I adore, who I miss, who I love dearly and who I wish I got to see more! I treasure and love my Mum for she has always been there for me when my own Mother was not, and when, and since, she walked away from my life almost 8 years ago, my Mum has helped with that loss and pain a lot! I am very blessed to have my parents and Austin and Kaleigh are blessed to have them for Grandparents!
Happy Father's Day to you Dad! Love you very much!
All the best! *HUGS*
On this Father's Day, I got a special treat, to see my Dad, who I adore, who I miss, who I love dearly and who I wish I got to see more! I treasure and love my Mum for she has always been there for me when my own Mother was not, and when, and since, she walked away from my life almost 8 years ago, my Mum has helped with that loss and pain a lot! I am very blessed to have my parents and Austin and Kaleigh are blessed to have them for Grandparents!
Happy Father's Day to you Dad! Love you very much!
All the best! *HUGS*
Monday, June 15, 2015
Donuts, Tractors and Strawberry Pie!
Yesterday morning, Austin came with me to go shopping and get coffee at our local Timmy's (that's Tim Horton's, our most loved coffee shop by us Canadians). He asked if he could go in and get his donuts by himself. Oh my! You know me, I am a little overprotective ... okay, okay, A LOT overprotective! Austin pleaded his case and said "I need to start doing things on my own Mom!" It is true. He needs some independence and slowly he has to be able to do stuff by himself. So I started, I would let him go but if someone asked "Where's your Mother or Father, tell them I am right outside in the car, they can see me from the cash." Poor Austin, he sighed at me but agreed. He got out and I warned him to look before he crossed the parking lot, he does not always think of that, part of the reason I keep him close to me. He looked, and crossed safely, thank goodness! I waited for Mr. Cadillac to leave and pulled up next to the class windows so I could see Austin, he did GREAT! Such a PROUD Mama! He jumped into the car and I asked how it went, he said it was a piece of cake! He was smiling and happy! He was thrilled to go on his own and so proud of himself. Austin came home and told his Dad what he had done. Dad was pretty impressed that all went well. Well done Dude! Mom and Dad are very PROUD of you! We LOVE you!
Later in the morning, my husband decided to get Austin to try the tractor. He wants him to learn how to ride it so he can cut the lawn and I am all for it. Austin was on the tractor, listening to Dad's commands, he did pretty well. (I was outside filming him! How could I resist!) All of a sudden, Kaleigh found out what was happening ... oh my! Kaleigh is a motorcycle, four wheeler, tractor, anything with a motor, enthusiast. She gets it from her Dad and Grandpa. She was crying and crying! My husband got her on the tractor and gave her a turn. Goodness! I thought Austin was happy! I am surprised we could get her off of it! Round and round she went, happy as a clam! Warms my heart and make me smile to see my little ones so happy and having fun! What a day for Austin and Kaleigh!
There was a special request for the day from Austin, a fresh strawberry pie! I couldn't refuse my favourite little guy in the entire world! Needless to say, he couldn't wait for it to cool and there was another big smile on his face yesterday!
There are so many changes happening with Austin now. Everyday seems to be something new. I am so blessed to have both my little ones and am grateful everyday!
All the best! *HUGS*
Later in the morning, my husband decided to get Austin to try the tractor. He wants him to learn how to ride it so he can cut the lawn and I am all for it. Austin was on the tractor, listening to Dad's commands, he did pretty well. (I was outside filming him! How could I resist!) All of a sudden, Kaleigh found out what was happening ... oh my! Kaleigh is a motorcycle, four wheeler, tractor, anything with a motor, enthusiast. She gets it from her Dad and Grandpa. She was crying and crying! My husband got her on the tractor and gave her a turn. Goodness! I thought Austin was happy! I am surprised we could get her off of it! Round and round she went, happy as a clam! Warms my heart and make me smile to see my little ones so happy and having fun! What a day for Austin and Kaleigh!
There was a special request for the day from Austin, a fresh strawberry pie! I couldn't refuse my favourite little guy in the entire world! Needless to say, he couldn't wait for it to cool and there was another big smile on his face yesterday!
There are so many changes happening with Austin now. Everyday seems to be something new. I am so blessed to have both my little ones and am grateful everyday!
All the best! *HUGS*
Saturday, June 6, 2015
The Birds & The Bees
The time has come and someone is very curious about sex! Yes! S-E-X! Oh goodness! I had a talk about sex with my ex-boyfriend's boys when they started to ask questions. I was not a their parent so they found it easy to talk to me. One of them even thanked me years later for being so open and supportive. He said it helped him a lot. That made me feel pretty good, that they had someone who they could talk to about something so sensitive to them. I have to say, it was easier with them, than with Austin.
I know that he knows a lot more than he is willing to discuss but I will not push the issue. I have found him trying to look up things on puberty, I will not go into details but I am sure you get the picture. I talked to him last night and explained to him that he can ask me anything. He does not need to be shy, or if he prefers to talk to his Dad, that's okay too. We are only here to help him understand something that happens to everyone and there is no need to be embarrassed. He did sit and talk to me a little bit and we did make some progress but he is not willing to talk to me about what he knows entirely. I think that Dad might have better success. Fingers crossed!
Everything seems to happen so fast! Why do children have to grow up so quickly? I feel like it was just yesterday I was changing Austin's diaper, now he is almost the same height as me and he is girl crazy! I know all of you get it!
All the best! *HUGS*
I know that he knows a lot more than he is willing to discuss but I will not push the issue. I have found him trying to look up things on puberty, I will not go into details but I am sure you get the picture. I talked to him last night and explained to him that he can ask me anything. He does not need to be shy, or if he prefers to talk to his Dad, that's okay too. We are only here to help him understand something that happens to everyone and there is no need to be embarrassed. He did sit and talk to me a little bit and we did make some progress but he is not willing to talk to me about what he knows entirely. I think that Dad might have better success. Fingers crossed!
Everything seems to happen so fast! Why do children have to grow up so quickly? I feel like it was just yesterday I was changing Austin's diaper, now he is almost the same height as me and he is girl crazy! I know all of you get it!
All the best! *HUGS*
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