I see this a lot, when someone talks or writes about getting the diagnosis PDD-NOS, its "bad news". I think it is so sad they feel that way ... shows how far I have come in such a short time. In May, on that day the therapist told my husband and I that Austin had PDD-NOS, I burst into tears and cried so hard I covered my face to prevent anyone from seeing me that distraught. The therapist put her papers down and said "what can I do to make this easier for you?", "this is not a bad thing, we can fix it, we can fix this". I couldn't speak ... just shake my head side to side ... devastated. My husband tried to comfort me, there was none to be had. In shock, I came home, found Austin, and held him as I sobbed and sobbed. I felt so sorry for him, for his future ... for the unknown. Why my little boy? Why him? How did this happen? Austin giggled initially as I cried, it made him nervous to see me like this so I tried very hard to stop. I wiped away my tears and cuddled him ... my baby, still my baby, whom I adore and would give the beating heart from my chest if he needed it. That will never, ever change.
For the next two weeks, I would just burst into tears spontaneously, especially if I was alone. I was overwhelmed! What now went through my head all the time was, "is my baby going to be okay?". Well, he changes everyday. Everyday something new comes from him. His speech is getting better, his comprehension and his social skills.
I said I would give you hope, so here is a little story that I am sure will make you smile. Austin and I went to leave the speech therapist's office the other day, there was a little girl waiting to come in the door, Austin initiated the conversation (which would have never happened even two months ago) and it went something like this:
Austin: "Hi, what is your name?"
Girl: "My name is Madeline."
Austin: "My name is Austin ..."
The speech therapist and I were almost jumping for joy! You'd think we were two tween girls who just won backstage passes to Justin Bieber or something! Austin was still talking away to Madeline but I missed it because her Mother said, "your little boy is so polite!" "Thank you", I replied to this obviously intelligent, well mannered and sensitive woman. ;) My little boy, yes, he is: polite, sweet, adorable, funny, sensitive, cute as a button and, he is on the spectrum. These are all things that make Austin what he is ... I am very blessed, very lucky to have been given such a treasure as he ... I promise that "bad news" feeling, will go away and one day you will wonder "why did I ever feel that way?".