Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Panic in Packing

I just finished packing Austin's bag of supplies for tomorrow.  I am sad that summer is over and he will be gone all day and I will miss him.  Don't get me wrong, I will enjoy the quiet too but will miss him very much.  (This summer, Kaleigh and Austin certainly did their share of bickering.  I came close to needing some help aka meds (LOL!) after a few weeks of their fighting, but they play well together too so, well, I made it! :))  While packing, it was the thought of bullying that entered my head just as I placed the last few things in his bag.  That dark cloud came over me, the one that makes me want to homeschool.  I know that people are thinking that I am being paranoid or overprotective but it BROKE MY HEART to watch what happened to him last year.  I am praying that this year will be different.

The older Austin gets, the harder it is for me to see someone pick on him.  He will retreat normally.  It is so sad for me to see his reaction.  I watched him at day camp one day this summer with Kaleigh as some boy (about 2 years older than Austin and much bigger) took the ball away that they were playing with together.  While Kaleigh, a 1/4 of this boy's size, got in his face and said "GIVE ME THE BALL BACK!!!", Austin retreated.  He stood back smiling at me like it was no big deal.  It is the contrast in the two that is sometimes the hardest to take.  It worries me for Austin.

Packing up his things today, it was that wave of fear that came over me for a few seconds.  My heart pounding, frightened and anxious.  It is horrible to feel helpless and scared when it comes to your child.  I just want to protect him from being hurt.  I pray, pray, he will be okay this year and the friends he has made will rally around him and his school year will be positive and wonderful.  LOVE YOU Austin!

All the best!  *HUGS*

School Dazed

All summer long we have been waiting to hear if Austin would be granted a cross boundary transfer for his elementary school.  We were denied the first year but we were lucky and granted one last year.  We filed again for this coming school year ... we waited and waited.  I finally called the school about a week and half ago because I could take no more ... my husband and I were going bonkers thinking of the possible scenarios that might happen if Austin was denied.  All that change would be very hard on Austin.  I was told the decisions were not being made until the next week and we would know within a few days from that time.  OH MY!  I could not pay fees or buy school supplies because they vary from school to school.

I started waiting for the postman like a girl for her date on prom night!  Seriously, I think I may have frightened the poor man!  Calling out to the kids "MAIL'S HERE!", every time I saw him coming down the street to our door.  Finally, last Friday, the letter arrived and the transfer, GRANTED!!!  WOO HOO!  I was teary eyed just reading it and emailed my husband with the good news right away.  We were so THRILLED!

I was so focussed on which school Austin might be attending, I got distracted and a bit anxious too.  I figured I could not put too much energy into preparing for school since we had no idea where he would be going.  Once we did get the news, I got the supply list and was off to shop with Austin and Kaleigh in tow!  That's is always good for entertainment, others entertainment that is.  For some reason, I had only seen or looked at Austin's school calendar once.  About two weeks ago, I had gone to the school, I saw a note on the door stating that there was a PD day on the 4th of September because we are having an election and the school is being used for voting.  Got it.  Right, so in my mind, I thought Austin would be starting on the 5th of September.  Now, there is good reasoning for this, distraction definitely, but I also grew up in another province, we started school after Labour Day.  My brain is just programmed for the start of school, always after Labour Day.  Just a wee bit confused, right?

I can't help but laugh about it now because my friends were saying to me that the kids start on Wednesday, yes, Wednesday, August 29th, not September 5th!  LOL!  I feel like people were talking to me and I was just so focussed on whether or not the transfer was granted or not, I wasn't paying close enough attention.  So much so, that I almost missed the beginning of school.  I was planning to take Austin and Kaleigh to the farmers market tomorrow morning!  LOL!  I guess it is a good thing that after I paid the fees yesterday, I saw the school calendar and called to confirm the starting date.  At least the school's secretary got a laugh!  She said she would have been calling looking for him come tomorrow morning.  We would have been berry shopping!  :O

Oh well, the great news is that Austin will be returning to the same school.  He will have a different aide this year and teacher but we know it will all be fine because they are all wonderful!

All the best!  *HUGS*

P.S.  I guess the postman can relax now ... ;)

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Reality Rouse

You know how sometimes you are just going through life and things seem like everything is wonderful?  Isn't interesting how a single moment in a day can open your eyes and you realize that your little vacation in la la land is over and you are given a return ticket home pronto?

Yesterday I took Austin to speech therapy for the first time in months.  He was tested a while back and the speech therapist thought it was a good time for a break.  Austin did really well in school and he reads above children his age.  He does quite well in all his subjects at school, and we are so PROUD of him.  He really does act like a 7 year old in a lot of ways and sometimes autism is less evident at 7, than it was at 3 or 4 years old, that is, depending on the situation.  Yesterday is a perfect example, it felt like autism was driving the car rather than being the passenger!  A few questions from the therapist and I could feel the tears starting to form!  I heard her ask questions that Kaleigh could analyze and respond to without hesitation.  I am not trying to compare Austin and Kaleigh, it is the concern that comes over me when he cannot analyze a picture and answer questions that at 4, would not be challenging for Kaleigh.  It is very, very tough to see.  I have been warned already that problem solving is going to be a challenge for him.  It breaks my heart to see him answer incorrectly and not be able to focus. :(

Over the summer, I watched Austin play, go to the park, enjoy summer camp, go to Birthday parties and dance to Just Dance 3 by Wii ... a lot!  We may have to refinish the hardwood floor!  It is just wonderful to see him so happy!  Being out of school and on vacation, we still read a bit, (he reads a lot on his own, especially books of facts) but it has been mostly play time.  Interestingly, he has been teaching Kaleigh the alphabet and we are teaching her how to write her name.  Big brother Austin is doing a great job helping her learn!  I see him growing and developing and then I am reminded, he is different, he struggles, he still needs me ... the thought of being in speech yesterday with him, played over and over in my mind as I sat eating dinner lastnight.  My eyes filled with tears and the emotions surfaced from the day that I promised him, I would fight with all my might to help him.  I will not stop, I will endure whatever I must to ensure he gets all the help he needs to succeed!  I LOVE him so much ... that reality is concrete.

 *HUGS* All the best!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Fantastic Finale!

Coming to the end of Austin's school year was a bit like a recital to me ... the performance had been exceptional, way beyond what I thought possible, but how would it end?  Would the finale be spectacular or would there be a trip, a fall, an obstacle no one saw that would take away all the glory he had accomplished throughout the year?  I was nervous until the very end.  I just wanted him to finish with a big smile on his face, to be happy and proud of his accomplishments.

The last few weeks of school, I heard about tests, French tests, Math tests, English tests ... back to back.  Could Austin deal with all this pressure?  There were a few instances where he became a bit overwhelmed.  Some of this happened at school but mostly at home.  I wished I could do the tests for him, well, a part of me anyway.  I knew that he could do all the work but the end of the school year seemed to get him off track.  The excitement of the coming summer vacation and the thought of school ending really affected him.

I think about all the worrying I did, all that fear, tears, anxiety, loss of sleep and all of it unnecessary!  Austin did AWESOME!  We are so PROUD of him!!!  I was in tears every time I heard test went well.  I cannot express how relieved and how happy I was for Austin.  WAY TO GO BUDDY!  WELL DONE! :)

I want to say that it is not because I did not believe Austin was capable or smart enough, it was the other circumstances that worried me going into the final weeks of school.  He becomes more excited, loses focus, is less predicable and his sleep changes radically too.  All of these factors could contribute to his school performance, needless to say, thank goodness everything went well!  His report card was EXCELLENT!  He will be going into the second grade in the Fall.  I have to thank all of his wonderful teachers and aide for all their support, help, understanding and caring!  We were so grateful to all of you!  Thank you for making Austin's experience in Grade 1 OUTSTANDING! :)

*HUGS* to all!  :)

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Hide and Go ... Hide?

A day back in April ...

Today was a very scary day for us.  My husband and were outside stripping the paint off a kitchen window and the kids were outside with us, playing and running around.  They played in our yard and my in-laws place (they live right next door ... our lots are attached and the kids go back and forth safely).  Everyone was having a nice afternoon.

Kaleigh came up to me at one point and said she wanted to go inside and did not want to play with Austin anymore.  They had been playing Hide and Seek but she said she did not want to "chase him" because he was running around.  I took Kaleigh inside and got her settled (my husband and in-laws were still outside).  I decided to go back out to get Austin and bring him inside as well.  When I went out, I asked my husband if Austin was with him, he said "no".  We called for Austin but no reply.  My husband, my mother in-law, father in-law and people visiting all started to look ... no Austin ... my world stopped!  "Austin is gone!"  "Where is he?!"  "Did he run off?"  "Did someone grab him?"  All these things went through my head in what seemed a nanosecond.  My husband said my mother in-law was going to get in her car and look for him, I had put on my running shoes and was out the door headed to the pond down the road.  We walk down and feed the ducks and I thought Austin might be there in the trail.  My husband told me to take my truck.  So I jumped into my truck and as soon as I started to leave I heard loud crying and yelling ... it was Austin ... at first relief, than fear ... why was he so upset?  I ran from the truck over to my in-laws and picked up Austin and carried him to a chair.  He was screaming and crying.  He was frightened and upset.  He was crying, I was crying ... I was so relieved but the fear of what could have been, well, it was too much and I sobbed.  He explained that he was hiding and no one came to look for him.  We explained he has to tell us if he wants us to play, no one knew he was going to hide.  When he heard the truck, he came out because he wanted to go for a ride.  He says he could not hear us in his special hiding place.  He was in my in-laws snow shed.  He scared the living daylights out of us!

I carried him home.  I explained that it what he did was very scary and not to do it again.  Hide and Seek with Kaleigh and family is fine but hide just to hide and not come out, well, that is not a game I would like to revisit.  We are thankful that he is okay and just glad that all is well.

*HUGS* to all!

Posts Aplenty

Okay, so I have not blogged in a while ... I do feel very badly about this.  I have been a bit distracted but I promise I have many posts coming your way!

I hope that all is well with everyone and wishing you all the best!

:)  *HUGS*