I just finished packing Austin's bag of supplies for tomorrow. I am sad that summer is over and he will be gone all day and I will miss him. Don't get me wrong, I will enjoy the quiet too but will miss him very much. (This summer, Kaleigh and Austin certainly did their share of bickering. I came close to needing some help aka meds (LOL!) after a few weeks of their fighting, but they play well together too so, well, I made it! :)) While packing, it was the thought of bullying that entered my head just as I placed the last few things in his bag. That dark cloud came over me, the one that makes me want to homeschool. I know that people are thinking that I am being paranoid or overprotective but it BROKE MY HEART to watch what happened to him last year. I am praying that this year will be different.
The older Austin gets, the harder it is for me to see someone pick on him. He will retreat normally. It is so sad for me to see his reaction. I watched him at day camp one day this summer with Kaleigh as some boy (about 2 years older than Austin and much bigger) took the ball away that they were playing with together. While Kaleigh, a 1/4 of this boy's size, got in his face and said "GIVE ME THE BALL BACK!!!", Austin retreated. He stood back smiling at me like it was no big deal. It is the contrast in the two that is sometimes the hardest to take. It worries me for Austin.
Packing up his things today, it was that wave of fear that came over me for a few seconds. My heart pounding, frightened and anxious. It is horrible to feel helpless and scared when it comes to your child. I just want to protect him from being hurt. I pray, pray, he will be okay this year and the friends he has made will rally around him and his school year will be positive and wonderful. LOVE YOU Austin!
All the best! *HUGS*