Monday, July 22, 2013

Promoting Propriety

Austin's party was Saturday.  It was not what it should have been.  Only 2 boys showed up out of 10 children that were invited.  I did receive a call from a parent who said her children were not be able to attend, that was weeks back, and I thank her and the parents that responded to the invitation, too bad they were the minority.  It is so sad in this day and age that people do not seem to care about proper etiquette.  No to mention, so disrespectful to Austin!

I was very disappointed this weekend.  I could not believe that 6 adults could not email or call me to tell me their children would not be attending the party.  I asked for an R.S.V.P. by a certain date and included the information to reach me.  Even if the children did not want to come, for whatever reason, and I am not saying that is the case, they did not show up.  I am not upset at them, it would have been nice to know and I always respect someone and let them know if I am coming or not.  My kids invitations are always confirmed by a requested date and if we cannot attend, we always purchase a gift (I do not expect that from other parents but I feel it is appropriate since that is how I was raised).

I am still stunned!  Thank goodness Austin was not really upset about it.  He was so happy about the Radical Science guy that spent an hour making bubbly potions in our living room, that he really did not care, or at least that is what he has told us.  Kaleigh, on the other hand, had many questions about why people did not come to the party.  I told her that people must be away for vacation.  Something simple for a 5 year old to understand.  Being the bright star she is, I do not think she believed me.  She keeps questionning here than there about it so I just say "I do not know".

Austin had fun and got a new 3DS (flame red) that he really wanted so he is very distracted and happy with it.  I was more upset for him and thought that what happened was very disrespectful.  I am grateful my parents instilled manners in me and I pass them onto my children.  To me, even if I may seem old fashioned, etiquette is important.  Too bad not everyone feels that way.

I wonder how one of these parents would have felt if it was their child's party?  I hope that they never find out.

All the best!  *HUGS*

Friday, July 19, 2013

Seeking Solitude Selectively

Austin has been at a local day camp for the last few days.  We decided that since he needed "time alone" and wanted to "be away from Kaleigh" we would let him go to camp and it has really helped his behaviour.

I do realize that a lot of these new behaviours are consistent with an 8 year old boy but it is a hard adjustment when you are used to quiet and laid back child.  I am talking him through different things and trying to get him to understand just because a character in a book says or does something does not mean it is appropriate in real life.  He seems to really take the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books to heart.  I took them away for the time being and he has picked up his books of facts, all kinds of facts.  He really enjoys books like that and the interaction is good for him when he gets to discuss all the stuff he has learned.

I get that Austin likes his time alone, he always has but sometimes I still find it upsetting and sad.  I could not leave him at camp this morning without a heavy heart.  All the other kids were off in different groups playing, Austin walked around to each group and looked at what was happening.  He never said a word to anyone.  I told Kaleigh to wait and wanted to see what he was going to do.  He settled on getting the toy ramp with cars and play by himself.  This really hurts my heart.  Even if it does not bother Austin, it hurts that no other child gets up and comes over to see if he wants to play with him.  It is not like other kids do not play with him or anything all the time, it is just hard for me to see this isolation.  I wonder deep down if it does bother him, even if he says it doesn't?

Tomorrow is Austin's Birthday party.  I invited 10 children.  I have heard back from only 3 people.  I sent out an invitation with R.V.S.P. by July 14th.  (I always RSVP, always!)  He is having a Radical Science party (a chemist comes to the house and does neat experiments for the kids) which the parents know since it was on the invitation.  I have to know how many children are attending, as of today, I know of 2 that are coming.  My head goes into overdrive when stuff like this happens, I wonder if the kids do not want to come, if the parents just do not bother and I am going to have all the kids arrive tomorrow?  This, is the exception for Austin, he is worried himself that people will not be coming.  On a typical day, he is fine with playing with or without other kids but this party is very important to him.  I am praying that it will all turn out fine and he will have a super day!  All I can do is pray and wait ...

All the best!  *HUGS*

Friday, July 12, 2013

Rooting for Rocky

I am so glad that my Dad made me sit through every Rocky movie (numerous times I might add) because right now, I realize how much it affected me, in a positive way. That character had so much heart, he would not be defeated, he persevered.  I strive to be like that, not to be defeated, to endure and be victorious!

What am I babbling about now, right?  Well, the last few weeks Austin has been out of school have been a complete eye opener!  I did see the psychologist and she assured me that a lot of what is going on is typical behaviour.  After seeing her though, Austin started to have nightmares.  Nightmares he thought were real!  The psychologist is away so I contacted Austin's speech therapist and brought him to see her.  He felt better after talking to her, YAY!  So HAPPY about that, one down about a million to go!  Okay, an exaggeration, but it feels that way! :(

Poor Austin, I feel like I do not recognize this boy.  Where is my sweet, easy going, fun loving, helpful, laid back, polite, happy boy?  He is loud, he lashes out, he is doing rude things, inappropriate things, he is impatient, unsettled, talks back ... oh my, the list goes on ... :(  Do not get me wrong, that sweet little guy is still there but whatever is going on with him now seems to be overpowering him.  I have been slightly distressed and almost felt defeated ...  almost ...

After an incident today (something I will not go into but it was very inappropriate), I was upset.  I felt lost.  What am I doing wrong?  What is going on?  How can I change this behaviour?  How could I come this far and feel like I cannot do anymore; give up?  Me?  Give up?  NEVER!!!  So, I put my Rocky boots on and went into talk to Austin ... one on one.  I asked him to tell me what I can do to help him with why he is acting out so much.  Tears filled his eyes as he explained that he needs more alone time apparently, alone time without his sibling, it is making him "crazy" he cannot deal with it.  I devised a plan to ensure that he will have some more alone time and more one on one Momma time.  I do not believe I can turn everything around at once, but I am certainly going to try, one thing at a time.

Thinking of those Rocky movies today reminded me how much heart it takes to continue even though you know what you are fighting for is exceedingly TOUGH!  There is a light, coming from inside of you, shining out.  You can see the glory, for the battle you are set on winning.  You run up the stairs one at a time until you reach the top.  You strive for the best and you can obtain it.    "You can do anything you put your mind to", my Dad always told me.  I learned that he was right.  I am stubborn and persistent; I will not give up!  Thanks Rocky ;)

All the best!  *HUGS*