Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What's harder than the diagnosis? Pre-dignosis!

Prior to Austin being diagnosed with PDD-NOS, going anywhere (when he was 2 to 4 years old) was to say the least, a challenge.  I went to the museum today with my friend, The Maven, her little guy (his Birthday outing ... Happy Birthday again buddy!) and my 2 1/2 year old daughter, Kaleigh.  Kaleigh was assessed after Austin's diagnosis (only as a precaution, we never felt anything was wrong) and was found to be a "typical" child, actually, "above the curve" the therapist said.  She is a doll by the way.  Anyway, Maven and I were talking about what going out with Austin was like at 2 1/2 ... my goodness!  She remembers it as well as I do.  Nike sent me a letter of appreciation for being one of their best customers ... EVER!  Run, bolt, you name it, he did it.  I chased and chased!  It was impossible to go to playgroup, Walmart, the grocery store, a family function and the playground.  He would always run somewhere or be stimulated by the environment.  I had no idea why he was like that, I just figured he was being a boy, not like any of the other boys but what did I know?  Everyone would look at me funny.  Say my kid wasn't "disciplined".  Tell him to "be good for you Mommy, don't give her such a hard time".  Any of this sound familiar?  People can be so harsh!  Poor Austin!  He was a pretty good sport for all the comments he had put to him, me too, but I am a stubborn redhead ... thank God!

Today, after I got home, I left Kaleigh with my husband and went to pick up Austin at school.  He had a good day!  YAY!  I then proceeded to take him to the grocery store and the movie store both without any incident at all.  Not so long ago, I would have never thought this was possible, but it is, and I am so happy for Austin that he has gotten to this point.  You see, it all takes time, they get there.  It was truly much more difficult when I didn't know what was going on, now that I know, it is much, much easier.  :)

By the way, Nike dropped has me from their "most frequent purchases' list".  A nice place to be.  ;)


Anonymous said...

Yay for good days!

Both my children are "typical" children (as you have put it). But even they have days where I've heard "your kid isn't disciplined" or "be good for your mommy". I hate comments like those. But to have them said about a child who has any sort of medical problem and therefore isn't a "typical" child, is (as you said) harsh. Children are children. They have good days and bad days. Don't adults have good and bad days?

Now, I know nothing about your son's diagnosis, and I don't pretend to. But I can tell from your last paragraph that the fact that he had such a great day at school and did a shopping trip right after without incident is super awesome and huge congrats to offered to Austin. Awesome awesome job!

btw, Maven is freakin' amazing and I wuv her.

kristi said...

Yes, I used to go to the store and I would cry because of the stares.

Mommie That Gets It said...

Welcome Alex! *HUG*! Yes, YAY!

"Typical" is a term used by the therapists to describe "normal" children, or a child developing at a "normal" rate. No one says "normal" anymore ... I think it has become a bad word. ;)

My 2 1/2 year old daughter has never been approached by anyone and had any comments made to her, ever. My son has had comment on top of comment, over and over again, not in a nice way either. Harsh tones "What's wrong with him?" "He needs a smack!" Crazy stuff! I get that children, special needs or not, can be children. I guess you would have to meet my son to understand. It is really, really tough to have people say this over and over when it is not something he can help. It is terribly sad. You start to think you are not a good parent because you do not know yet that there is an underlying reason for the behaviour.

Austin did have a great day and I am so proud of him. I am proud of him everyday but he is happier when he has a good day. :)

I get The Maven! :)

All the best to you and your family! :)

Mommie That Gets It said...

Hi kristi, *BIG HUGS*. I am sorry that it made you so sad. I used to feel so badly, now I just focus on Austin. It is easier because I understand why it is happening. LOTS OF HUGS TO YOU! All the best to you and your family! :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the explination :) As far as I know, I don't know any children (that I interact with on even a fairly regular basis) who have any sort of medical issue beyond allergies and things like that.

I do agree though; it's rude to say those things to any child, but it's just so much more harsh to say it to a child (or loud enough for the child to hear it) when he or she can't help what is going on.

I think what you said is true; unless someone else gets to spend time with any child who has a medicial issue, they'll never truly understand. Even then, one child who has Diagnosis A isn't going to react and interact the same as another child with the same diagnosis.

I have little patience as it is and both my children are typical children (ok, well my daughter has a diary intolerance that is more annoying than it's worth I tihnk), so I can't even begin to imagine having to come up with the patience for a child who isn't typical. You know?

Question; as Austin gets older, will some of these things get easier? Will he be able to control some of these things? I know nothing is a guaranteed thing in this world, but is there some hope that at some point in his life (even at any age) he'll be able to live as close to a typical life as other children do (as much as possible for him with his diagnosis)?

Mommie That Gets It said...

Hi Alex. You're welcome. :)

It is scary when someone walks up to your 2 year old a says nasty things right to his face! It's shocking and totally uncalled for. I agree, no children should be treated like that, it's crazy!

You find patience somewhere. Some days are harder than others but I find since we know what we are dealing with, it makes it much easier to have the extra patience you need. You would be surprised at what you could deal with, promise.

To answer your question, Austin is very high functioning. It took a lot to get his diagnosis. I know children who have many more issues than him who are not on the spectrum. Yes, he has come a long way and there is a lot of hope that he will go a lot further. For example, last year at school, he was drawing squiggles and circles, now he draws "Buzz" & "Woody" (as stick men of course) but that is a huge achievement for Austin! HUGE! He is young, there is a lot of hope for him to be not much different than you or I. Hope ... <3

Thanks for your comments and question! All the best to you and your family. *HUG*

Anonymous said...

That is a huge accomplishment! Major congrats to him.

Thank you for answer my questions so nicely. I appreciate it :) Sometimes I don't want to ask questions because I don't want people to think I'm ignorant. But as I mentioned before, I don't think I have had any interaction which children (or even adults) who have been diagnosed with this.

Big hugs and prayers :)

Mommie That Gets It said...

Hi Alex. Thanks!

Oh my, you're welcome! :) I encourage all questions, except about my weight! :D

You are not ignorant, ignorant people don't ask questions. Please feel free ask me whatever you would like, I want to help.

I am sure that you have probably met a child on the spectrum, if not, there is a good chance you will meet one eventually.

Thanks so much! *HUGS*! All the best to you and your family too! :)

Judi said...

I used to tell people that I rented him out to High Schools to stop teenage pregnancy if they made the comments, because why would you comment just because you've got your child on a leash, and he is running, flabbing and spinning....oh....and roaring like a dinosaur in the supermarket? I mean if it was REALLY BAD I could just let him go.

Mommie That Gets It said...

Hi Judi! Thanks for visiting my blog. *HUG* Good for you! I wish I could have been there to see the look on their faces when you said that! I used to use a "leash" for my son too. He really needed it because he would just run. He also gets distracted easily in large groups of people.

The nerve of some people, it still surprises me.

Hope all is well and all the best. Hope to see you back again on here soon! :) Heather