Thursday, February 19, 2015

Directing the Delighted

There is a reason I have not been blogging for the last few months, we have been dealing with a very trying situation at school with Austin.  He has been bullied by another boy for months!  It was so tough to find out that once again, Austin was the target of bullying.  This child kicked Austin, more than once in the private area, so hard that he had pain and could not urinate without discomfort.  We treated his symptoms and he was fine but the thought of it happening was a nightmare!  This is how we found out he was a target of bullying ... again!  What does being "delighted" have to do with this post?  Continue to read on and you will see!

After Austin had been injured, I was upset, as was his Father, that he was being targetted pretty much everyday for months.  A push here, a punch there, a kick, a shove, name calling and knocking to the ground.  My mind raced for nights on end!  I could not sleep!  I was so concerned that Austin was being hurt and did not tell us what was going on; we found out why he did not tell us.  When I questioned him, and it took a lot of questioning before he told me why he did not confide in us, he just looked at me and said, "No witnesses, no proof."  Just like that.  I am not kidding when I say, my head almost blew off!  Where on earth would he hear something like that?  Then, in an instant, I knew.

This boy went after Austin so much that he was finally suspended for a few days.  Austin and all of us felt a sigh of relief that he could go to school and be happy for a while.  The day the boy returned, he got up in the middle of the class and went to the board and punched Austin as he did his work.  Again, the child was suspended, this time for a week.  When was this going to end?

Yesterday, I picked Austin up from school, he told me that he heard the boy had been "expelled".  Austin was content that the boy was no longer going to school and quiet frankly, I was very relieved that I did not have to worry about Austin being hit anymore.  He did not seem outlandishly happy but seemed pleased.

If the child was indeed expelled, I needed to confirm this with the school. (They have been very supportive of Austin during this situation and I am very grateful to them.)  I contacted them and found out that the child was not formally expelled but has moved to another program at another school.  I was also informed that Austin was very happy about this and had no bones about expressing this to the other children in his class.  This did not go over well and Austin was spoken to about it.  He did apologize and I did speak to him about it.  I told him that is not the way to react and it is not a dignified way to behave.  Austin struggles a lot with social issues and all he could think about was how delighted he was not to have to endure being the target of this child.  I can totally relate to how he feels but he has to learn that expressing certain things that way can hurt someone's feelings.  He knows that there is a certain expectation of being understanding, since we do not know the status of this other boy.  I am sure he has his own challenges he is trying to deal with and I know it will not be easy for him or his family.  I do feel for them since we have our own challenges to deal with everyday.  They may not be the same, but they are still challenges.

I am hopeful that the rest of the school year will be easier for Austin now that he does not have to be afraid to go to school everyday.  Honestly, it broke my heart to have my son so fearful, he did not want to go to school.  He LOVES school!  Today, I sit optimistic that the past few months will fade and his excitement to go to school will return!

All the best!  *HUGS*


Anonymous said...

What state do you live in? I would file assault charges against this child and also file a lawsuit against the district and his parents for allowing this to happen more than once. It is appalling your son was injured in this way and it continued to happen.

Mommie that Gets It said...

Dear Anonymous,

We live in Quebec, Canada. My husband and I were to the point if the child hit our son again, we were going to contact our local police. We had had enough. I agree with you 100%. It is not easy to send your son to school knowing he could be hurt. I was in the Principal's office in tears and did consider transferring my son to another school. It is an appalling situation and this child went after numerous children, not just mine. I am sure there are a lot of relieved children and parents today. Thank you for your comments!

Wishing you all the best!


Anonymous said...

Found your blog through your comments on another blog. Just wanted to say that I found your blog really interesting. I am in an autism program and we have been talking about the transition into the school, and it was great to read a little bit about how the school reacted and what your experience was this year. Glad to hear that the rest of your sons school year might be a little easier. Will definitely be back to read more, thanks for the insight.

Mommie that Gets It said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you very much! Yes, the school was very supportive of Austin and continues to be. Yes, thank you! We are all looking forward to the same thing. He has had a very rough time. Thank you! I am happy to hear you will be back to read more. You're welcome!

Wishin you all the best!

:) Heather

Judy Whatilivefor said...

I'm so sorry that Austin and your family had to go through this. It's heartbreaking that a child could behave in that manner and that your child had to suffer. I hope Austin really does fall in love with school again and hopefully that boy will be able to learn to accept others' differences.

Mommie that Gets It said...

Hello Judy,

Thank you! It was so hard! A lot of other children suffered as well. I am hoping that they also have peace of mind now that the boy is at another school. I couldn't agree with you more! Thank you again!

All the best!


:) Heather