Thursday, February 23, 2012

Party Pooper

Austin received an invitation to a party from a girl in his class.  The party is to take place March 3rd and the dreaded words "Lunch Will be Served" are written in the card.  Sigh ... what to do?  These parents do not know Austin and have no idea he is on the spectrum.  Do I tell them that Austin is on the spectrum and to expect maybe some behaviour if he gets bored or overstimulated?  He is such a picky eater, which is getting better but I cannot ask "What are you planning to serve?"  That is just not me ... I just don't want them to be taken of guard ... am I being a party pooper or what?

Austin was at a party last Saturday, I attended with him.  It was different though because these parents know Austin is on the spectrum and have known him a long time.  They are also very supportive and accept Austin for who he is and do not judge.  I am very grateful to have them as friends and Austin has a great friend in their son too!

Any suggestions?  I would really appreciate the input.  Thanks everyone!

All the best!  *HUGS*


kristi said...

I would ask and I would let them know, but that's just me!

The Maven said...

I look at it this way:

If my child had a special need that was physical, like, if he used crutches to walk, I would let the parents know and ask whether or not he could get around on those crutches at the party. I have kids with hearing loss, so if they go to a pool party or somewhere really noisy, I'm going to let the parents know that they might not hear them very well once the hearing aids are off. This also ensures that my kids are as comfortable as possible in the environment, and that the hosts know how to best care for them.

So following that thought, I don't think it's any different when it comes to spectrum kids. In my opinion, it's perfectly fine to give the parents a call and explain to them that Austin is on the spectrum, that he might get a little overstimulated, what to do about that, and ask what they're serving. If it's something he won't eat, offer to send him with a lunch. I don't think that's a big deal.

And believe me, it gets easier each time you call. You'd be amazed how many understanding, supportive parents there are out there :)

Hope Austin has fun!

Mommie that Gets It said...

Thanks Kristi! :)

Mommie that Gets It said...

Thanks Mav! Great input! :)

Thanks! :)

Anonymous said...

Hey there Heather,

I'm guessing the party is going to be no longer than say 2-3 hours right?

So what if you fed him till he busted, load him all kinds of his favorite snacks so that he can munch on them with the rest of the kids while they have "Lunch Served"? He'll probably quite content to have his own snacks? and being full, he will likely not want to eat anyways in favor of playing anyways?

Jut a though?

Mommie that Gets It said...

Hi Glenn! :)

Thank you! I would probably send food with him. He has starting eating pizza and hot dogs which are quite common I would think for a party. Dear Lord, if there are cheesies there, they will be in deep trouble! Austin eats a couple of those and it is hyperactive city!

I think I am just going to let the parents know the situation. It is what I feel most comfortable doing :)

Thanks again! :)

Hope you are having fun travelling and safe trip! :)

Victoria said...

I think I'd talk to them, explain the situation, and see if it's something they were prepared to cope with. If not, no hard feelings, but if they can, at least he gets to experience another party. You can find out whether it's a drop-the-kids-off-and-pick-them-up-later kind of thing, or a parents-included kind of thing. If it's parents included, at least you can leave with him if he gets overstimulated.

Judy Whatilivefor said...

I think it's great that he's getting invited to parties...I would suggest to do what it takes to make sure he has fun. I think the other commenters have had fantastic suggestions.

Hope he has a blast and that everything goes well for him. I don't think you're a party pooper at all. I stress about my boys going to other's houses.

Mommie that Gets It said...

Thanks Judy!

I think it is great too! I did talk to the girl's Mother the other day. She sounds very nice. I am not sure if she has ever dealt with a child on the spectrum but she was very receptive. I always make sure I am available at the drop of a hat. He will only be a few minutes away. :)

Thanks again! *HUGS*

:) Heather

Mommie that Gets It said...

Hi Victoria! Thanks! I did speak to the Mom and she was very nice. I will be close by if needed. I know Austin has to start doing things on his own ... hard to let go and see ... I am sure you understand. :)

Hope all is well!